I really do enjoy business travel. I work in the cleaning business for Zep Inc. as a marketing manager. I sometimes travel with sales representatives. Our sales reps are like consultants and can walk into a factory or hospital or really any place of business and they can tell management exactly what they need to do to disinfect. It always amazes me. Our business is all about relationships, so travel and those face-to-face meetings are just part of the job.

I’m one of those business travelers who will talk to anyone, but even my patience was tested on one flight by a grandmother and her over-caffeinated grandchild. Understand that I like children and grandmothers, but this little boy had a battery-powered monkey that made musical sounds and clapped its hands together. It sounds cute, but it wasn’t. This thing also had this crazy laugh, straight out of a horror movie like “Chucky.” I told the grandmother that the monkey would have to be switched off for takeoff. She said she didn’t know how. When a flight attendant came by to check on us, I was sure she’d turn off the monkey, but, of course, the thing went silent and I didn’t say anything.

While we were in flight, the monkey started to cackle again. I think it was controlled by a sensor. It was making the passengers who were seated near it really irritated. I was right next to it and I wanted to crawl out of the plane.

When the grandmother fell asleep I seized the moment and told the young man his monkey needed a nap and I took out the batteries. Mercifully, the young man accepted my explanation and he took a nap, too. The passengers around me were very grateful, but I swear that monkey was possessed since it stared at me the rest of the flight.

I’m not a nervous flier. I love watching aerobatics and always wondered what it would be like to be in one of those aircraft as they made those death-defying maneuvers. My wish came true on a flight to Chicago a few years ago.

We were supposed to be flying into Midway International and the pilot’s approach was long and slow. As we were coming in for the landing, not more than 1,000 feet off the ground, the pilot made a sharp turn to the right. The turn was so tight that he seemed to bank at a 90-degree angle. I had the window seat and was looking straight down at the ground. I could hear alarm bells going off in the cockpit. Just as I was convinced we were going to flip over on our back like a turtle, and any turtle can tell you that is not a good thing, the plane went into another 90-degree turn. But this time, it was to the left. I looked out the window again and I saw stars.

It seemed the pilot confused Chicago O’Hare with Chicago Midway and was landing at the wrong airport. At the last minute either he or the control tower realized the problem and he tried to correct his mistake. When we finally did land at Midway, the pilot bolted off the plane. I have never seen anyone move that fast. I haven’t flown on that particular airline since.

By Greg Hill, as told to Joan Raymond; E-mail: joan.raymond@nytimes.com.

Article source: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/06/business/a-cackling-toy-monkey-in-the-next-seat.html?partner=rss&emc=rss