By starting early, you’ll allow time for multiple discussions — and prevent your fiancé from feeling forced or rushed into something he or she doesn’t understand or agree with.
“Don’t try to hide or avoid it, and don’t keep putting it off,” said Anne Brennan Malec, a psychologist, financial therapist and founder of Symmetry Counseling. “If the conversation is getting overheated — which it could, because people conflate love and money and trust — stop and come back to it. Recognize and normalize that it’s a hard thing to talk about.”
If your partner is offended, Ms. Malec recommended likening a prenup to an insurance policy for a catastrophic event. Explain that it is a means of protecting yourselves — and any future children — from the emotional and financial expense of a messy divorce.
“Couples are coming into a marriage with as much love as they’ve ever felt for each other,” Ms. Malec said. Those warm feelings, she said, make it easier to determine a fair division of assets — a task that could be more difficult in the future.
Assess your finances
When you hire a lawyer to complete your prenup, he or she will request all your financials — bank and investment accounts, tax returns, insurance policies, debts — so it’s wise to start compiling that information now.
And, though it might seem like a headache, getting a clear picture of your finances is always a good idea — especially before you merge your life with someone else’s.
“Whether or not you end up signing, it’s a great exercise to go through,” Ms. Lowry said. “It forces you to have financial conversations you may not have thought to have, or may have avoided.” That may well “set you up for an even more successful marriage,” she said.
Article source: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/06/smarter-living/millennial-prenup-weddings-money.html?partner=rss&emc=rss
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