What is most important is that you are occupied. You’ve got things going for you. Maybe you’ve got a new job; maybe you are meeting new friends, living a busy and full life. Take on a new skill. If you start to go to a dance class or start writing a blog or do something that adds value to you, it makes you feel like, “Wow, I am a really wonderful person, and maybe I didn’t even need that relationship.” It’s about growing into a new, higher version of yourself.
Tell me more about the “block him party” hashtag you started?
Literally a party I threw. I got the name from the popular phrase “block party.” I realized I was coming across a lot of women who had just come out of some really bad relationships with men, and they didn’t really know where to go. I wanted to create an environment where people who have just come out of a bad relationship could meet one another and vent, complain about him — also get their nails done and party.
So why did you start a fashion blog?
It was basically born out of me resisting social norms. Fashion blogging was in its early stages, and it was just rich, white women that I could find. The same style — the long camel coat, the biker jackets, the fedora hats and the Chanel boy bag — was all I was seeing.
I didn’t feel that there was anyone who was broke like me back then. I just wanted to find someone who was wearing what I could actually buy. I really wanted to connect with people and use my blog as a way to start up really important conversations that I felt I couldn’t start up elsewhere.
Who are you writing for?
I am writing to anybody who feels that they have given up on themselves, and that can be anyone at any age. My audience spans from age 18 to 65. It always feels extra affirming when older women tell me they love what I do because it’s really hard as a younger person to be taken seriously by the older generation, who call us “lazy millennials” and all that. Although I’m speaking to everyone, I feel like the people directly in front of me are black British women.
What has been the biggest challenge for you?
Learning to stop feeling the need to explain myself to people who are already committed to misunderstanding me. I have to remind myself that I’m not here to be liked. That’s not the reason for my existence.
Article source: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/29/style/saggy-boobs-matter-chidera-eggerue-interview.html?partner=rss&emc=rss
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